Programmer jokes

General Discussions
#41

A Java Programmer, a C++ Programmer and a Pascal Programmer walk into a bar.

#42

It’s funny because it’s the JCP in action.

* Riven runs

#43

The two hardest problems facing computer programmers:

  1. cache invalidation
  2. naming things, and
  3. off-by-one errors

(e.g. from http://boards.fool.com/two-hardest-problems-in-computer-science-30444219.aspx)

#44

#45

A blind man is standing at the traffic light.

Next to him there’s a programmer.

The blind man asks the programmer: “Is the traffic light red, yellow or green?” (We have those colors in germany/europe).

The programmer answers “Yes.”.

:wink:

#46

#47

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”

The man below says: “Yes. You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”

“You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist.

“I do” replies the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but It’s of no use to anyone.”

The man below replies, “You must work in management.”

“I do,” replies the balloonist, “But how’d you know?”*

“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”

#48 

public class Foo
{
    public static void bar()
    {
        System.out.println("Hello World!");
    }

    public static void main(String[] args)
    {
        Foo.bar();
    }
}

A foo walks into a bar, takes a look around and says “Hello World!”

#49

[quote]A foo walks into a bar, takes a look around and says “Hello World!”
[/quote]
Answer: “0”

#50

I made this gem earlier:

http://puu.sh/7MpTU.png

  • Jev
#51

BKorP55Aqvg

#52

“Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?”
“No…”
“Inheritance.”

#53

On that note, I dare every programmer here to look in the mirror and tell me your reflection isn’t ugly.

(and still you love modeling)

:persecutioncomplex:

#54 
fname.setAccessible(true);
int mods = fname.getModifiers();
Field modF = fname.getClass().getDeclaredField("modifiers");
mods = mods & ~Modifier.FINAL;
modF.setAccessible(true);
modF.setInt(fname, mods);

Yep, damn ugly.

#55 

public void toMyMadness() {
   beCrazy();
}
#56

I once wrote a simple script parser for a visual novel engine thingy, and I used reflection to map script called functions to Java functions. The only ugly part was that I had to change all function arguments that had primitive types to use wrapper classes instead (int input —> Integer input). That was IMHO one of the coolest things I’ve ever done. >_>

#57

public void mirror(FacialConfiguration face) throws CrackedMirrorException { if (face.isProgrammer() && !face.isAgs()) { throw new CrackedMirrorException(); } throw new VanityOverflowException(); //unchecked }

#58

Your vanity goes unchecked!

#59

A student hands his programming task to the teacher. The teacher says “I’m (EDIT) 8K in and have no idea what you’re saying”

#60

There, FTFY. :emo: