Social Stigma of Game Dev and Peer Pressure

Miscellaneous Topics
#1

Hey everyone,

As many of you would know, we have some friends who think that programming computer games are cool, awesome and impressive, but there are also some people who think that this is boring, useless and “sad”. That is what they think when I tell them what I do, and it makes it hard to justify staying in on a Friday night for a good programming session. In the end, I always end up being “peer pressured” to do other activities instead, like watching a movie, having a LAN party or going clubbing. Sure these are fun and enjoyable too, and we all need our fair share of going out with friends, but sometimes I’d rather stay in and work on my projects.

I was wondering what you guys think and how you handle these situations.

#2

Everyone is different, everyone has fun in different ways.

If you enjoy what you do, follow your passions, not other’s ones.

#3

You have to decide for yourself what you want. Would you rather have a game or fun experiences with friends? Both are perfectly valid options. Don’t let yourself be pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do, that’s no way to go through life! Be your own person and do what you want to do, not what others want to do. I really do not care if my friends think I’m a nerd for staying at home on a Friday night and doing what I like, it’s my life and I will do what I enjoy as long as I’m not being rude to other people (not going to your friend’s wedding on a Friday night because you are headstrong and want to stay home is probably not the best idea :stuck_out_tongue: ). If your friends keep saying that you’re sad for doing what you like then you need new friends. That’s not a nice thing to say at all, and only real friends would support you in what you like to do.

For instance, I have one friend who programs and the rest are into music (I’m in a band with the musical people). None of my friends make fun of me for programming or call me sad, even the ones who are into music. Why? Because I stopped hanging out with the people who think it is sad and started hanging out with the people who understand what it’s like to want to stay home on Friday nights and create art. There’s no reason to let them make your decisions for you! Be yourself, you’ll be happier in the end :slight_smile:

#4

Nothing in your question is specific to programming or game development. People grow apart. Sometimes people are annoying when they don’t share your interests.

I’m guessing that you’re in your late teens or early twenties. You’ll find other friends.

Keep doing what you love, and look for people who share your interests. Don’t worry, in a couple years everybody will start getting married and having kids and dropping off the face of the earth anyway.

#5

You dont need to justify anything.

#6

Hi

My friends don’t judge my hobbies, I feel no peer pressure. You’re a free citizen, you make your own choice, it’s up to you to decide at the end, you choose your friends. Actually, I agree with Opiop. Don’t change a lot to please other people, be yourself, don’t lose yourself, others are already available, they don’t need a clone. I know that I can’t share everything with my friends and it’s not a problem but we tolerate our differences, we respect ourselves. If they really want you to stop doing something that you really like, yes, find some other friends.

#7

What Do You Care What Other People Think?

#8

It’s short and understandable. I think that they shouldn’t meddle in things that are none of their business. I’d prefer them to take care of something more important that should be considered as “their” business. For example, I think that my neighbors should wonder why the price of the water has increased instead of watching my house to see the “new” woman entering…

#9

Make a good game that gets you a lot of money. You won’t need to justify anything anymore.

That said, who cares what other people think about what you do in your freetime? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being productive.

Just do you, bro.

#10

There is this time in your life where it’s okay to be socially inept with, say, girls. In this period you are supposed to acquire these skills. Spending that period behind a computer might affect attaining these skills in a timely manner. Before you know you are supposed to have these skills, and you wouldn’t want to be empty handed.

Surely it’s not all this black and white, but unless you dig being socially awkward with the opposite gender, you actually should care about what people, whose opinion you value, think about you. We are social beings after all… they say.

#11

I just finished reading Carlos Santana’s biography. He made it clear, any prospective romantic partner that tried to get between him and his music was automatically ruled out. His current wife is a talented pro drummer, and they have a good understanding between them.

Not sure what to say. As well as being a musician and programmer, I’m an avid reader of books. My first major romance (lasted four years, somehow) was to a woman who thought I was too much a nerdy bookworm and pressured me to sell many of the books I had collected, many of which I now miss. My wife of 20 years is also a book lover. :slight_smile:

Come to think of it, Santana had an interesting observation about partners. His theory is that we attract people who reflect who we are, that such people will naturally turn up. I take this to mean that if one is needy, one will attract needy and demanding friends or companions. If one is more together and clear on priorities, the friends and partners that will remain or show up new will also be clear in this regard.

What is a LAN party? (I’m late 50’s in age, and haven’t experienced this. Surely it is more than “just” a lot of text-messaging. Or am I missing something?) Going clubbing I understand, if the point is to dance and/or listen (or perform!) as opposed to getting wasted (at least, those are my priorities).

#12

LAN as local area network. you know … back when - BNC wires, two terminators, lots of pentium II and quake2 (team)deathmatch.

now people are too old lazy to be bothered to pack up their computer and meet at some friends place. but we got the internet for that too. :slight_smile:

#13

Sure. This is why I said “what do you…” instead of “why do you…”. Social adeptness is a hod-hodge of skills and like any skill you gotta get off your ass and practice to be any good at it. Any activity that hermits you away from social interaction is a pretty bad idea. Personally I find this subject tangential to what we were talking about. Oh and this commentary is general BTW.

To throw around an old saw: “If you want others to love you, first you have to learn to love yourself”. If you’re not comfortable with yourself or your interests, then that’s problematic. These poor kids that walk around staring at the sidewalk or hiding themselves behind SMSing, etc. aren’t doing themselves any favors. If fact they reinforcing that certain of their peer group will consider them goats.

But social adeptness and being non-conformal to standard social roles are far from mutually exclusive.

#14

I’ve become very solitary and do what I want at the time when I want to do it. So my way to “handle” the problem is to not even let the problem exist. Without peers, there is no peer pressure.

#15

I don’t think you should set any hard rules on yourself. Look at it on a case-by-case basis.

On some days you might feel like staying home coding, on some others you might feel like going out clubbing. And yet on others you might just want to do something entirely different.

Do what you feel you want or need, and both you and your peers will eventually adapt one way or the other.

#16

might be just a question of frequency :

http://memleaks.net/things/social_stigma.jpg

#17

The fact that you mention ‘clubbing’ in your list of activities suggests to me that your quite young. The pressure that you feel is totally normal. It’s almost a rite-of-passage, it will perplex you for a good 10 years or more. Then it will settle and you will find peace with your interests/hobbies and your circle of friends (which will no doubt look very different to the circle you mix with now).

tl;dr Don’t worry about it. Keep doing what your doing. It will all come out in the wash… :wink: