Programmer jokes

General Discussions
#221

Not jokes, but programmer-related humor (loosely defined).

Caption in search of a cartoon:

The Hunchback of Code Domains

(Has it been used before? Or something similar? Feeling somewhat Quasimodo-like after hunching over keyboard for long hours.)

Also, had an idea for a game, inspired by my wife, called “Die Fly! Die!”

Avatar runs around apartment interior armed with either swatter, rolled up newspaper, shoe, trying to kill fly or flies that came in when letting the cat out. Points for flies killed (time-based), negative points for furniture destroyed, walls marred, etc.

#222

INSERT jokeAboutTheEclipse INTO Programmer_jokes WHERE date IS NOW();

#223

[icode]INSERT … WHERE … [/icode] ?

Conditional inserts? This joke has too many layers :point:

#224

Yeah I’m not too good with SQL. Most use it to grab info, not insert it!

#225

Do you know the differences between good Manager and bad?
Good knows that his coworkers are idiots and makes mistakes (bugs) all over the time,
He know their strengths and weaknesses,
And he accept them as they are, without trying to change them

Not a joke – dirty Reality XD

#226

[quote]Good knows that his coworkers are idiots and makes mistakes (bugs) all over the time
[/quote]
That’s an awful description.

[quote]And he accept them as they are, without trying to change them
[/quote]
That’s also not true. I suggest you read at least Tom DeMarco’s “Peopleware: Productive Projects and Teams”.
A good manager encourages people to improve themselves. Of course not by blaming them for their errors but by establishing an environment in which errors are accepted (and to some degree, encouraged) and then giving them hints on how they can improve and to learn from themselves.

  • also not a joke but lived reality in some client companies I know (too few however).
#227

That’s an awful description.
[/quote]
From perspective of Manager:

  • Programmer that write code with bugs is idiot “didn’t he see that he make a bug” =)

A good manager encourages people to improve themselves. Of course not by blaming them for their errors but by establishing an environment in which errors are accepted (and to some degree, encouraged) and then giving them hints on how they can improve and to learn from themselves.
[/quote]
And did you really want that some manager (not programmer)
Will try to teach you how to program better and make more quality code (product) XD
(and many of them do, do this all over the time ^^)

((Yes, yes if you work in big company and have QA department with 50+ ppl
– they check code and add errors to bug tracker when after couple months someone will try to fix them…
But what if you have only 10- ppl at All ;)))

p.s I fears you can’t understand me, because we live in different realities: 2 ppl can also be a company
(and you can’t hire best of the best because they go in bigger companies and you simple don’t have money on them)

UP pp.s
Even best-of the best:
may spend plenty of working time on some nonsense like watch videos, sitting in facebook, reddit etc…

Can I call them Idiots? – Yes I can.
When they have work, they spend time on some nonsense, and later crying that they not finished work in time

This is where:

Is important: you know that you’re coworkers spend half working day on non work nonsense.
You planning Terms and Milestones with this offset.

Dirty reality:
And if you work in Big company where you have 50+ ppl on 1 position
If some of workers spend more time than manager think its needed
– it’s fired in no time, and on next day new person works on his place
No one will even try to understand you, or teach you something.
Because it’s extra expenses – And business didn’t like extra expenses.

#228

Tell me where you work because I never want to work there!! My experience of working in IT is more like how KaiHH describes it.

#229

Happy few)
And maybe you even don’t work 10-12 hours a day + Weekends In Deadline
Dream Land ^^
p.s On every successful story- at least 1000 not so successful ^^
(Like Story about Fable Development)