A programmer with a terrible hangover crashes into a bar, takes a seat, shifts a bit, leaving a dump.
Lol!
A java webstart programmer is invited to a bar but fails to deploy
A poor programmer walks into a Generic bar but gets rejected
A programmer rushes into a bar, only to take a leak, leaving the barman with a cache miss.
A Scala programmer walks into a primitive bar, and says: ‘I can’t function like this’.
A programmer casts a primitive spell on a bar. The barman narrowingly escapses.
here’s a real knee slapper …
headdesk.
A programmer walks in to a bar and asks for a for a menu.
Barman “certainly, and how about a table by the window? It has a great view of our fields”
Programmer “Perfect. Is there access for guests?”
Barman: “Yes but the architect made a hash of it”
Programmer “Oh well, the window is fine. Can I start a tab?”
Barman “Of course, but remember we close at 10”
Programer “Can’t you make an exception?”
Barman “Look I don’t know what you’re used to but we close on time and clean up, no exceptions”.
A programmer walks in the bar and two girls check him out.
“He has so much class” says one.
The other retorts:
“I heard he was made in java”.
Ouch. 
throw new ThreadDeath();
That’s a good one.
Sad, but true. Especially with that FX.
Not a “walks into a bar” joke, but I’ve seen this one on some Spanish joke site (my translation):
A hardware technician, a systems analyst, and a programmer are going down a mountain in a car when the brakes fail; the car starts to run away, the occupants start to shout in panic, but fortunately they manage to stop the car a few centimetres* short of a 500m** cliff. They get out of the car, take a deep breath, and the hardware technician says with trembling voice, “I think I can fix the car.”
The systems analyst replies, “I think the best thing to do would be to call a tow truck and take it to the nearest town so that we can get it checked by an expert.”
The programmer suggests, “Why don’t we take it back up, come down again, and see whether the brakes fail a second time?”
- An inch or two, for those who prefer Imperial units.
** 550 yards
A programmer walks into a foo…
Bah, bloody metrificationists. Give them an inch and they’ll take a kilometre.
A JavaFX programmer walks into a…
(four minutes pass while he appears frozen in time, unresponsive to prods and pokes, and Task Manager reveals he is not thinking)
could not connect to Bar exception.
Cas 
Haha, took me a while.