Simply not true! Try reading the end of Cero’s thread I linked to earlier with a solution for packaging that works just fine.
GStreamer used to be a bit flaky to use / install on Windows and OSX, but there’s been a real push in this direction recently too - see http://www.gstreamer.com/. I still prefer the local packaging option for anything but Linux though.
All the extra things you’re looking to do I’m already doing with GStreamer. For a simple use case I can see the benefit of Riven’s code, but for doing more I don’t see the point in rewriting what GStreamer already provides, but in Java!