Thank you all for helping.
Matt, as I said when connection closes you get bombarded with read events until you close the connection on your side… and can’t do anything else… i couldn’t even get windows task manager to open until I switched to java application and closed it (thus killing server and read events). So i doubt you have that problem assuming you at least tested it for abnormal connection closing.
… and when I thought you tried to convince me to use JGN instead of learning how to write my own networking … just kidding